This neglect has gone on far too long, the neglect of my heart, the neglect of my spirt.
It’s no one’s fault but mine, I could have changed things at any time, but I am a lazy fuck, and my own worst enemy.
This is my first true story: I am never enough.
I’m a bad friend, I’m unemployable, I’m selfish, I’m scared all the time.
I need to be the main character of my own life now, and not let anyone else get in my way.
Keep your eyes peeled, one day you might see me begin to shine.… Read the rest
I took my time walking to the door, because inside, the house was empty.
It was raining and I didn’t have an umbrella, but there were so few things I cared about, the wet didn’t bother me at all.
I slid the key into the lock, and when I pushed open the door the phone was ringing, but didn’t I rush to answer it. There was nothing to rush for, or towards, anymore.
The machine picked up after the beep.
“Honey, it’s me. You have to come back and get me. It’s so cold here. Am I in a coffin?”… Read the rest
She looked better in my body than I did. She wore the curves more comfortably, ignored the rolls of fat completely, and smiled like she knew she was the most interesting person in the room wherever she went.
She makes me see that I could have lived another life, or could I?
Wouldn’t another soul have to literally embody me to make me another me?
Wait.
Where am I? Why’s it so dark here?
I see her turning toward me and smiling, she sees me, but no one else does.
She took me, and I let her have me, happily.… Read the rest
Her love was gone, but her life had to move on, there was no question in that.
She was young, she was beautiful, she had plenty of time left for things to change.
Maybe they would even change here, at this wedding she was invited to; maybe she’d dance with her future husband, and not even know it.
It was hard watching the other couples twirl and kiss when she had no one to touch, or no one to touch her.
Shouldn’t she celebrate the love she wants the most?
It’s hard when you don’t have nearly what you want.… Read the rest
a poem on Substack
After the battle, he was lucky make it into the medical tent, let alone get a bed.
He guessed that’s what happens when you lose three limbs in one day; you get special treatment.
With two legs and an arm gone, he wondered whether he would ever walk again.
Nurses and Medics raced between the beds, doing the best they could, but I know a lot of people died that day.
I was one of the lucky ones out in that field, being tended to under the big gray dome of the sky, knowing eventually I’d get to go home.… Read the rest
“Traitor.”
“I only did what I thought was right.”
“You did what you thought was right at the expense of everyone else!”
“But I had to!”
“No, you didn’t have to. You could have made the choice that saves everyone, not just the strongest among us.”
“But they were holding us back.”
“It doesn’t matter if they were holding us back, those were our friends. You knew when you let that door close, they’d die.”
“But we’d live.”
“For what?”
Silence while his mouth opened and closed like a fish, slow, senseless.
“Don’t you still love me?”
“Well, not anymore.”… Read the rest
I stormed his castle, crossed the moat onto the muddy ground, pressing myself against the outer wall and shimmying sideways until I found an opening.
I raced up stairs, fighting off swordsmen, and people throwing rocks. But I dodged and ducked and moved higher until I found his room, where he hid from me – with her.
“How dare you barge in here?” he roared.
“How dare you betray me?”
He draws a sword and we spar, metal clanking and breaths huffing, much like they used to between us.
“You deserve this,” I say, and plunged my hilt to his … Read the rest
He curled around me and squeezed my heart, tightly circled, never letting go.
It was comfortable at first, it felt safe being that snugly held, and I didn’t think twice when the pressure got stronger, when the squeeze started feeling tighter than before.
It’s like they say, you can drop a frog in water and he won’t jump out when it starts to boil, because he gets used to the discomfort.
The pain becomes the one thing that is real, and certain.
I don’t struggle anymore, there’s no use.
He’s got me wrapped in him, and he’ll never let go.… Read the rest
